Love and Sex After Children

couple with baby in bed

Many couples will admit that, prior to having children, their relationships and sex lives were much more fulfilling.

That first child is born and everything revolves around this new little bundle of joy.

Between love and affection for the child, sleepless nights with a crying baby, round the clock feedings, and being up to your elbows in poopy diapers, intimacy, and sex can be the last thing on anyone’s mind.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t get better as the children get older.

We work all day and then come home to a mound of responsibilities: meals, chores, bills, homework, parenting and family time.

There are only so much one or two people can handle in a day, and after all, is said and done, mom and dad are totally exhausted, plop down in front of the television and zone out after the kids go to bed at night.

No intimacy, love connection, sexual playtime, or otherwise is on the minds of either member of the relationship, or, if it is, they’re simply too tired to express it.

How does this happen?

Besides simply being overwhelmed, we forget why we fell in love and decided to devote our lives to each other in the first place.

We become parents and take that on as our new role in life, forsaking all others.

We begin to take each other for granted, not taking a moment to send a simple, loving e-mail in the middle of the day like we used to, or greeting one another in the morning with a heartfelt hug and kiss.

And then, the cream of the crop, we fall into monotonous routines that become our lives, becoming roommates that are raising children together instead of spouse, lover, and friend.

Perhaps you’re expecting your first child and you want to avoid this but you’ve heard so much about from other couples, or have several children.

Either way, it’s never too late to keep the spark alive or reignite the flame that led you to procreate, to begin with.

In the office, we take on a single role, that of an employee.

However, at home, we have various roles and must play those parts constantly.

It’s possible to be a parent, spouse, and lover all at once.

a man kissing a woman on the lips

You can parent your children and then turn around and give your spouse a loving kiss or slap on the rear.

Don’t play mommy and daddy when the kids are around, waiting until they’re gone to profess your undying love for one another.

In fact, you may be doing harm to your children by not showing them what a truly loving marriage looks like.

If you’re stuck in a routine, however, make it interesting.

Everything else is scheduled, from meals to family events.

couple cooking together

So why not schedule times to be intimate?

Get a babysitter, or swap weekends watching kids with a friend, and go out on a date together at least once a month.

Schedule time together and even sex if need be. This can actually be great for anticipation.

Knowing it’s “nookie night” could be just the thing to get you through the day.